Saturday, June 8, 2013

Surviving Edged Weapons

I collect knives. I'm pretty sure it's a "design" thing and not some kind of macho "self-defense" thing: I just think they're neat. Some of them, anyway. Over time, my taste has matured: I'm less into 'fantasy' and more into 'interesting design'.

I'm sure it will come as no surprise that exactly zero of these items are allowed on an airplane under current TSA rules. Not that the proposed (but recently discarded) "relaxed" restrictions would have made any difference.

I won't get started on the TSA. Except for one comment: I fly more frequently than I would like to as part of my job, and I always "Opt Out" on the PornoScanner. I guess I've been through their body-search process maybe 25 times now, and every time the pat-down has been conducted quickly and professionally. No unnecessary roughness, no intimidation (verbal or other). Maybe I've just been lucky, but I'm beginning to suspect that the secret to a Painless Opt Out is to keep one's mouth shut. Which is what I always do: I just say "I'm opting out". On a few occasions they've tried to convince me not to, saying stuff like "you know these are 100% safe?" etc. I just say "I'm sorry, I'm opting out." What I suspect sometimes happens is that some travelers see Opt Out as an opportunity to start an obnoxious political argument. It's not hard to see how this could lead to a less-than-mellow search experience.

Now, without further ado, here are the knives!

Edit: I just looked at this post again, with fresh eyes, and ewww these pictures are awful. I'll replace them with better pictures when I can.

Mantis MU5 Jyro
[10.16cm / 5.08cm blade]

A nifty little locking blade. I can't deny I was attracted to it because of its unique design.

Heckler and Koch Instigator
[19.76cm / 8.58cm blade]

Probably my favorite day-to-day carry. A bit heavy for a necker but I wear it anyway. I frequently use it in the kitchen to chop vegetables.

ESEE Izula Fire Ant Red
[15.87cm / 7.31cm blade]

An Izula in red; rather striking, I think.

ESEE Izula Venom Green
[15.87cm / 7.31cm blade]

An Izula in green. I wrapped the handle with some paracord. Wrapping knives with paracord is the "in" thing to do these days in knife-enthusiast circles. I've used this in the kitchen but it's really not well-suited to slicing and dicing.

Boker Plus Newton Martin K-Bit
[10.16cm / 4.12cm blade]

With its sheath it makes a nice necklace. A small, extremely light, extremely sharp little blade that deploys very quickly.

SOG JB01K-CP Snarl
[10.92cm / 5.84cm blade]

As small as it is, it still has a good solid feel to it.

Boker Plus MA-2
[20.32cm / 6.35cm blade]

I'm still not sure what to make of this one. Works pretty well in the kitchen.

Hibben Generation 2 Throwing Knife
[18cm / 8.68cm blade]

I have no idea where I picked this up. Poor li'l thing, it looks so lonely.

Dark Operations Vendetta
[17.14cm / 8.89cm blade]

Another knife that caught my eye with an attractive design. It's a bit heavier than it needs to be. Not so great in the kitchen: I thought maybe the rounded blade would make dicing things a bit easier. I was wrong.

Benchmade SOCP Dagger
[18.42cm / 8.18cm blade]

Deploys very quickly from its sheath. Probably best if mounted on a boot or belt. The point is sharp but the edges are remarkably dull, so I'll have to sharpen it up myself before I can test it out on the kitchen. Because it's a dagger, it's illegal to carry it around in public. In the house, in the car, walking to/from the car, employing the blade in lawful hunting, fishing, or my occupation -- that's all a-okay. Just don't get caught walking down the street with it. You'd think a state that allows concealed carry of firearms would have a more liberal (and sensible) set of laws on knives, wouldn't you?

Red Guardian "Ninja" Sword
[71.12cm / 45.33cm blade]

Sometimes I stay up too late and order stuff from Amazon. This is what happens.

Gil Hibben Dragon Lord
[36cm / 21.5cm blade]

I've read that most 'fantasy' knives are really just pieces of metal that look like knives. I won't argue the point, but some of them are just so darned pretty.. This is one of them.

Gil Hibben Griffyn
[39cm / 27.94cm blade]

And this is another. It has four separate blades, none of which is particularly sharp. Which is a Good Thing, because I think that if you tried to use this in a real knife fight, you might unwittingly bleed yourself to death just picking it up.

Kit Rae Fang of Baelin
[19.68cm / 12.38cm blade]

It's unique, but there's probably a reason that more knives don't look like this. In case it's not obvious from the picture, the outer edges of the blades are flat, not sharp. I think that if I found myself in an actual knife fight with one of these, I'd throw it at the other guy's head and run.

[32cm / 19cm blade]

Another knife that I don't know who made it or even where I picked it up. There's a slider button that spreads open the pommel, which is kinda neat, but the handle appears to be made of blended plastic and beeswax.

Pic coming soon

El Cid Colada Miniature Replica Sword
[57cm / 45.5cm blade]

My son brought this home for me from Spain. A small decorative blade that has a surprisingly nice weight and balance. If the blade were sharpened, it could probably be used to discourage any random zombies that wandered into the house.

Rambo II Survival Knife
[39cm / 25.4cm blade]

This was on sale so cheap I couldn't pass it up. What it lacks in actual knife-i-tude it makes up for in sheer intimidation factor. It's supposed to be a "Rambo" knife, but for some reason everyone I've let hold it makes with their own Crocodile Dundee "That's not a knife. This is a knife!" schtick.